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‘M’ is for Magic Missile

from Acolytes of the Machine & Other Gaming Stories by Mary Crowell

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A love song to my favorite Dungeons & Dragons spell!

lyrics

'M' is for Magic Missile
(A Wizard's 'A,B,C's')
© 2009 by Mary Crowell
INTRODUCTION
Ask any little wizard!
(They'll tell you for a fee.)
You have to learn your magic -
Know your spells from 'A' to 'Z.'
There are spells that cause destruction,
Spells that make them dance,
Spells that make them blind or deaf
Or better at romance.

CHORUS
'M' is for Magic Missile
You'll cast it 'til they put you in your grave.
It hurts them just a bit,
But you never roll to hit,
And your victims do not ever get a save.

'A' is Antimagic Field and
'B' for Bigby's Hands
'C' will charm a person, so
You'll be in high demand.

'D' for domination or it's
Death just point a finger.
'E' is enervation
Hope that level loss will linger, But -

CHORUS

'F' for Feather Fall and
Feeblemind, False Life, False Vision.
Fireball makes me happy too -
A difficult decision.

'G's” got Gate and Glitterdust.
'H' is Haste and Hold.
Heroism makes my brawny
Meatshields big and bold.

BREAK:
'I' for Invisibility
Cast on the rogue that you can't see!

CHORUS

'J' for jump is jumping;
'K' for Keen Edge really keen;
'L' for Legend Lore. Let's see
What secrets can we glean?

'M' is for my favorite spells
Mage Armor, Magic Jar
'N's for Nondetection so they
Won't know where you are.

But don't forget
The best one yet

CHORUS

Otto's irresistible dance
Never even gives them a chance
To Save
Phantasmal Killer puts them
in the grave.

Wizard spells never start with 'Q.'
But, Quicken is an awesome
feat for you.
[Spoken]
'Cause you can Quicken

CHORUS

'R' will give you Rary's
'S' will give you Slow
'T' will give your Teleport
Where Do you want to go?

U spells all begin with 'un'
Vampiric Touch is 'V'
W's Wish and Wall of Fire
And then we go to 'Z.'

So tell me
WHY are there no spells

that start with 'Y?' Or 'X?'
Still . . .
CHORUS X2

[Spoken: Oh you--you cast shield? Ok. Shield. I'll cast greater dispel magic on your shield. No. dispel magic 'comma' greater, then I'll quicken …]
A Magic Missile Yeah yeah yeah Magic Missile Uh huh.
Magic Missile Yeah yeah yeah Magic Missile Uh huh.
Magic Missile Yeah yeah yeah Magic Missile.
Magic Missile.

credits

from Acolytes of the Machine & Other Gaming Stories, released October 1, 2012
M is for Magic Missile
Mary Crowell - vocals, piano
Jeff Bohnhoff - electric guitar, electric bass, drum programming
Maya Bohnhoff - backing vocals
Michelle "Vixy" Dockrey - backing vocals
Vocal arrangement on M is for Magic Missile by Jeff Bohnhoff, Michelle "Vixy" Dockrey and Maya Bohnhoff

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Mary Crowell Athens, Alabama

Mary Crowell is a singer/songwriter and piano teacher who loves mythology and playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Her Patreon is here: www.patreon.com/DrMaryCCrowell
She may be seen at science fiction and filk conventions performing and accompanying concerts on piano and occasionally clarinet.
Scattering Seeds on the Pomegranate Tour is her third solo album and is a mythic musical journey! ... more

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