Thanks to John Brewer and Karen Murphy I went to my very first GAFilk in 2001 in Atlanta, GA. And I was hooked. I attended OVFF in 2011, and was asked (by Rob Wynne I think!) to perform at this new even they were having at GAFilk in 2002. It was a banquet! Apparently, conventions often get better deals with their hotels if they host some sort of food event. This particular hotel had a grand piano in its banquet area, and Rob and Bill and Brenda Sutton knew I accompanied my jazzy songs on piano.
Guys, this was the first filk concert I ever performed. And it was recorded. And I had lost my recording of it for the longest time, but it turns out the aforementioned John and Karen had ripped the tape I had of the concert to mp3's. And voila! I have these. I talk SO MUCH throughout, because I was nervous. But there are songs on here that have fallen off my repertoire for years, and not all of them are on my first CD, Courting My Muse (2007).
INTRODUCTION
Sometimes a wizard's bag of tricks
Needs a little help, a real quick fix.
If that's the case, you know what to do.
Call me, Magnus retail, for the spells that cast true.
CHORUS
Your spell won't cast?
I'll make another.
Glamour won't last?
Don't call your mother;
I'm the genuine article, an alchemist, and genius squared.
You need sigils and signs?
Pay me money.
Words to combine
That don't sound funny?
Thesaurus, procurer, businessman and genius squared.
VERSE
You say that you were walking along,
When you tripped and fell and broke your wand.
Don't throw away your ailing stick.
I'll fix it, paint it, polish it slick.
CHORUS
Scrying to do?
I can find it.
An enchantment or two?
I've refined it.
Clandestine, done with utmost discretion by a genius squared.
You want a carpet to fly?
I can deliver.
A mermaid's left eye?
Shipped down the river.
I specialize in merchandise of magic; I'm a genius squared.
VERSE
I've got amulets made of silver and gold;
Rings from queens a millenia old.
Wreak flaming death! Cause misery!
There's just a small nonnegotiable fee.
CHORUS
Life’s a little less grim
When it’s enchanted.
An impossible whim
Can be granted.
Cross my palm with lot's of gold, and it is SOLD by a genius squared.
There’s someone you fear.
Need a favor?
Should he disappear?
I’ll be you savior
As long as payment’s in advance as I demand, a genius squared.
VERSE
There's a witch whose looks are giving you trouble.
Sabatra's her name with a boil and bubble.
She's a cousin of mine, and I'm sure you can see
Why I double my fee when it's close family.
CHORUS
(Spoken: Sooooooooo, you tell me . . .)
Your spell won't cast?
I'll make another.
Glamour won't last?
Don't call your mother.
I'm the genuine article, an alchemist and genius squared.
So, come on down!
Magic wholesale!
Best deals in town!
Magnus Retail!
I'm the genuine article, an alchemist and genius squared!
Mary Crowell is a singer/songwriter and piano teacher who loves mythology and playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Her Patreon is
here: www.patreon.com/DrMaryCCrowell
She may be seen at science fiction and filk conventions performing and accompanying concerts on piano and occasionally clarinet.
Scattering Seeds on the Pomegranate Tour is her third solo album and is a mythic musical journey!...more
The lyrics are brilliant and vocal arrangements irresistible. The vocal counterpoint in “Last Spaceship,” “Common Ground,” and “Quetico” are particular favorites of mine. Mary Crowell
Songs of mythology, magpies, and Mal performed by a duo who have truly mastered their instruments--guitar and voice. This album is superb. Mary Crowell
Swing dance, blues, and jazz with great lyrics and energy played live to an appreciative audience! And there's a bit of the geek there too. Mary Crowell