Paul Lenoue (a patron) has been asking for a self-rescuing princess song for two years now, and that yen of his happened to intersect with a soulwriters song prompt in 2017. We were to write a mondegreen or a song about miscommunication. My initial thought had been to string a bunch of well-known mondegreens together in one song. That turned out . . . badly. The problem is they all scanned to different songs, and I couldn't find a coherent tune for them.
But, I kept one thing from that nasty Frankenstein's Monster of an attempted song: if 'Lady Mondegreen' is a mishearing of "laid him on the green," then 'Later, Rhonda Green' works for "Laid her on the green." And somehow I decided to write the story of Princess Rhonda Green.
If you like what you hear and want to help decide what I write next come join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/DrMaryCCrowell
lyrics
Princess Rhonda Green
Copyright 2017 by Mary Crowell
I was …
[Verse A]
adventuring to save the princess.
I arrived; she was already gone.
She had rescued herself in the meantime,
And left me no mots to bon.
[Verse B]
Now I'm jumping on polka dot mushrooms;
The poor things! They don't have a chance.
I’m bored, ‘cause there’s no one to rescue,
So Mario, Link, and I dance.
Chorus:
Her name was Princess Rhonda Green
And I was really keen
To rescue Princess Rhonda Green
She didn't need it. She didn’t want it.
Wasn’t waiting for a Hylian elf
She just wanted to rescue herself.
[Instrumental on Verse A Chords]
She said, “Don't call me princess. I’m Rhonda.”
And I’ve got my burdens to tote.
Forget about rescuing damsels
My name’s Rhonda Green. Make a note.
Chorus
Bridge:
She didn't get my memo
That she was supposed to wait.
And she didn't read the FAQ I wrote
Em B7
That her saving made me great.
So I went on slaying those monsters,
But my heart just wasn't that in
So many things to think about
And nowhere to begin.
They weren't even monsters, I noticed;
So I was unsure what to do.
I went and asked Rhonda for wisdom,
and she told me “this is true:”
Chorus Variant:
My name was Princess Rhonda Green
And you were really keen
To rescue Princess Rhonda Green
I didn't need it. I didn’t want it.
‘Wasn’t waiting for a Hylian elf
I just wanted to rescue myself.
But,
“We all need a rescue now and then
If you really want to know.
Sometimes life can give you
Some mean old so and so.”
“It's complicated math, she told me
“To add up the arrows and the slings.
“But listening to each other is important
“the most important thing.”
Chorus
And I got it!!!
So I said thank you!
And see you later,
Rhonda Green.
credits
from Mary Crowell's Patreon: Year Two,
released November 30, 2018
vocals, clarinets, piano, MIDI by Mary Crowell. Recorded in Logic Pro 9 and then transferred to Logic Pro X
Mary Crowell is a singer/songwriter and piano teacher who loves mythology and playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Her Patreon is
here: www.patreon.com/DrMaryCCrowell
She may be seen at science fiction and filk conventions performing and accompanying concerts on piano and occasionally clarinet.
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